10/16/05 09:39 pmEverytime i try, it just seems to get harder...
"maaannnnnn! its been awhile" i told myself, missing those days where you don't really mess up too often... right now I'm beside all electronic device possible for a man to communicate... but i feel like I'm in the loneliest place a man can ever be. Everybody sorrounding seems to be very atoned to what their doing, though I still notice their loneliness, it's just that they seem to be just used to it,hmmmmm. but not me. I once lived a happy life, just hanging loose, busy pleasing everybody, living up my humble responsibilities, play sports, don't smoke or drink that much, just plain good life not to mention, a very lazy lifestyle. Top it all got the best company you can ever have, my circle of friends.. hhehehe as far as i can recall, spending time with them was just a blast!!!!! One day, i don't know if it's normal, just out of boredom i decided to give it up, i decided to devote my life to a more serious type of lifestyle... Or lets say....i decided to have a commitment. I think I'm even a bit late to do that becuase everybody around me just suddenly matured in their own way, before I knew it, I was already a left out. OH well.....sigh....to cut the chase, made my shot and persevered for awhile, about a couple of years or maybe more and unfortunately, I end up like this.....LOSER. just feel like I've lost track, lost reason,lost purpose and probably lost some part of life!... Everyday I just spend waiting for the next day to come hoping it would be different, exciting and special in the sense that it will surprise me or atleast give my old life back. I can't really make something cool about it, I wish I'm not boring anybody. Sometimes I try to contact an old friend, because before, that's what I always suggest when people come to me for the same problem, well it doesn't really work for me, infact sometimes I end up having a sour conversation, feels like my mind is too clouded to think it would help... Well what can I do? Pray? yep I did that, my own way though... be healthy?.. I play every sport I can think of... change routine? I move from one place to another just to escape monotony, and I always end up compromising.. besides I've invested too much already with this option.. Right now, what's holding my sanity is the thought that someday everybody will grow old and will go back to where they were...just lazy! hehehehe. What a thought! Inspiring me also to write something, as you can see thats what I'm doing right now.. I'm also in the edge of finishing an artwork, it's just about the size of a receipt, I mean I am using a receipt for this work and it's already on it's second week now.. those are just my simple thoughts tonight hope you had fun reading it and please send me your rude comments about it. thanks! "Those who can't do it, they teach...." |
complacent
lazy
aggravated
amused
calm
chipper
dorky
missing wily kit & wily cat